What does true LOVE mean to you?
The relationship I have with my husband, Ricardo, is my definition of true love. He encourages me to be a better person, supports me in my dreams and goals, and he “gets” me.
Even if you aren’t married, you can have a soulmate, someone who understands you and helps you be the best version of yourself.
However, it can be so easy to get caught up in a relationship that can only be described as a SCAM.
Before I got married to my husband, I was in a very conflictive relationship. It was completely TOXIC. I know now he was NOT the person for me for many reasons.
When I remember being in that relationship I spent more time crying, sad, and desperate and there were very few happy moments.
Deep down I knew that it hurt me and it did not suit me but fear, dependence and being addicted to that sense of feeling loved even for a few moments stopped me from ending it.
Of course I had tried to leave thousands of times but I fell again into that vicious circle, believing the lies that he would change and things would get better.
One night I was driving, it was about 9pm, and I was almost stopped in my car because the highway had a lot of traffic.
I was feeling completely desolate and I would not stop crying, and suddenly I felt my car backing up on the highway, I hit the brakes and grabbed the steering wheel with all my strength but the feeling of going backwards was very strong.
I felt panic, and that I was going to die at that moment If I crashed into the car from behind. I wanted to run out of the car… and suddenly when I looked ahead, the car in front of me had a bumper sticker that read, “quiet, you are never alone.”
Suddenly I entered such an incredible calm moment. I realized that I actually was not backing up in my car, it was all in my mind, and the cars next to me were moving forward.
That day I decided to end the toxic relationship because I realized it was pulling me back and weighing down on me. It was difficult and it broke my soul to do it.
I succeeded and sought help from a therapist in cutting all contact with that person. I started journaling, and most importantly, I gave myself the opportunity to discover and practice self love, and after all this healing happened,
I could see that love was in front because my husband and I had been friends for a while, and the rest is history as they say.
There are so many people that are in a romantic relationship with a scammer and you may be as blind as I was, feeling fear, desperation, and hopelessness.
The first step is to “Notice what you Notice.” I learned this in a virtual event with Mary Morrissey, after one of her Dreambuilder Certified Coaches, and my mentor, Elayna Fernandez, invited me to her event.
This step helps us discover the truth, because only then can you work on ending the relationship.
Have you ever been in a toxic relationship scam? I’d love to hear your stories!